It was nearly three o’clock in the morning in Washington D.C.’s upscale East Queeferino neighborhood when the guests finally began leaving the party at billionaire Joe Barron’s sumptuous mansion.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi herself had just barely managed to strap herself behind the wheel of her vintage 2018 Tesla Ballmaster, witnesses told police, and proceeded to squeal out of the parking lot with worrisome aplomb. 

D.C. police pulled the Speaker over about ten minutes later as her vehicle made a left turn from the far right lane onto a residential side street near the Bowling Green Memorial and had her exit through the driver’s side door.  Pelosi was then given the standard roadside sobriety field test.

Arresting officer Seymour Funbagz told reporters during a private press conference the details of the incident now going viral on social media pages.

“Mrs. Pelosi exited the vehicle in what I would characterize as a ‘shaky manner’.  When I asked her to provide identification she verballed abused me by answering : ‘Don’t you know who I am, you piddlesome little twat?’  Her speech was slurred and I administered a breathalyzer test.

During the waiting period for the results, Mrs. Pelosi began loudly singing the refrain from, I believe, a Drake song.  ‘I don’t give a f*ck, I don’t give a f*ck,’ over and over.  She started screaming ‘Biden wins, muthafu*kas!’ and i was forced to handcuff her.  Her test came back as nearly eight times over the legal limit of blood alcohol and she was arrested and taken to the station to be charged, booked, and released the next morning.

Her court date is in July.”

According to official Congressional records, this will mark Pelosi’s sixth such arrest since 2019, with the first five charges mysteriously dropped on various legal technicalities.

It’s a bit sad that someone who desperately needs help is constantly coddled by the liberal privilege machine.